Date, Set, Match: The Dating Dance

By Lucie Simone

Dating is a lot like Dancing with the Stars. Sometimes you and your partner hit the perfect rhythm and go on to win the Mirror Ball and the hearts of millions along the way. Most of the time, however, it takes a little trial and error to find the right Mark Ballas to your Cheryl Burke.

I didn’t know what I was looking for in a relationship when I decided to step on the dance floor way back when.  Other than handsome, artistic and employed, I didn’t have too many requirements for my leading man. So, my dance card got filled up pretty quickly with a variety of talented boogie masters. Some liked to Tango, others preferred Salsa, and a few liked to Fox Trot. But each one taught me a valuable lesson when it came to finding the right dance partner.

The first man to leave a lasting impression on my heart was a French boy named Jacques whose accent only made him all the more desirable. He was making a go at modeling. Then tried his hand at acting. Then singing. Then filmmaking. After a few frustrated years getting nowhere with his ever vacillating career, he decided life in Los Angeles was too tough and returned to France, tail between his legs. At least, that’s what I imagine happened to him. I managed to cha cha my way out of that relationship somewhere between his acting and singing careers.

Heartbreaker number two was Derrick. He was an actor, too, but seemed a little more focused in his career pursuits than Jacques. Unfortunately, he was less focused when it came to sexual preference. I was a modern woman, and I really wanted to be okay with dating a bi guy, but much like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, I realized that a partner who swings just wasn’t my thing. I wanted a man who only had eyes for me.

Next up was Michael. He was driven in his career (a financial analyst), but was also artistic (a filmmaker), and he liked the ladies (a little too much). I told myself that we were just dating. We weren’t exclusive (despite the fact that I wanted us to be), so I could hardly blame him for dancing with other women. It took ages for me to understand that he would never commit. He wasn’t in any rush to leave the disco, and I had to look for someone else to slow dance with at the end of the night.
 
Then came Warren. He had been a friend for years. So, when he professed his love for me one day on my doorstep, I was rather shocked. But I was also flattered, and since he was a hottie, a professional dancer (really!), employed, and completely hetero (really!), I thought, “Score!” We began dating immediately. It was bliss. Until he lost his job and withdrew from me. Dating, he told me—the woman he’d been fantasizing about for four years—was too much of a responsibility for him. Apparently, I wanted to tango and he just wanted to rumba.

Warren was quickly followed by Aaron, who I believed was really and truly “the one.” Our first date lasted 18 hours and our first kiss was electric. One month in, though, we hit a speed bump. Turned out, he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, and we were too much too fast for him. Right in the midst of a delightful waltz any Jane Austen fan would adore, he changed up the routine and tap danced right out of my life.

By the time Aaron sashayed off the dance floor, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted in a dance partner: handsome, artistic, employed, focused, heterosexual, faithful, responsible and ready for a relationship. Sure, my toes got stepped on a few times, and more than one partner managed to drop me mid-air, but I managed to land on my feet with a flourish. I’m a better dancer thanks to all that practice, and have since found a wonderful dancer to share in the music. Now, it’s all just a matter of keeping in time with the rhythm. 


Happy Dancing!




Lucie Simone is the author of A Taste of Italy, The Waterdance, and Hollywood Ending. Her new novel, Picture Perfect, will be released in August. For more information, please visit Lucie's blog and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook. 

She's So Write: Getting Through the First Draft


This is my first post here, and hopefully, not my last, so I better start out by being honest about who I truly am: I'm one of those writers who only writes on weeknights and weekends. This is the reality for so many of us as we lay down our pen-swords for five days a week to grudgingly fill our roles as somebody's bitch.

Under these perpetual time constraints, ninety percent of us would just give up on the quest to write a novel. For those of us still hanging by a thread (and not concerned with the premature aging that will result from lack of sleep), here are some tips for finishing a full-length draft:
 
1. Take a week's vacation to write the first draft. This will be difficult for those who are married and/or have children, as you probably want to use your vacation days on something more worthwhile, but for those of us women who teeter on the edge of independence and dying alone, this one's for you. Let me clarify that I'm not being sarcastic, because A: I actually wrote a draft in a week, and B: after the last heartbreak, I'm not sure if I'll ever love again. No biggie. But there I was with a week 's vacation and a goal of writing 10,000 words a day. The goal seemed unachievable, until I realized how angry I'd be if I'd used a week's vacation for nothing but eating and watching reality TV. And there's your biggest motivator: fear of self-loathing.
2. Assuming you can't get away for a week just to write a book, it can still be done, it can I tell you! Which brings me to the next tip: tell as many acquaintances as you can that you're writing a novel. This isn't a "the more people you tell the more accountable you are" type of tip. Oh no, it's more about the weird looks your peers will give you when you tell them you're a grown adult and you're writing a novel. "Why don't you just go on a hot air balloon ride and eat the cotton candy clouds?" they'll say (with their eyes, their patronizing eyes). The more people you have in your corner who are secretly wondering why your emotional maturity is stunted with a dream that should've stayed in adolescence, the more determined you'll become to prove them wrong. This will drive you to not only finish the draft, but to publish the book and find an audience that's uniquely yours. Spite, it's a beautiful thing.

3. This one is important: be a voyeur on writer message boards, Twitter, Facebook, etc. I am a participant in all of the aforementioned things, but when I'm trying to write a book, I quietly lurk with a sense of wonder as I watch others like me waste hours and hours sharing opinions when they should be writing. You are allowed to do this for twice a day for ten minutes before getting back to writing, and believe me you'll want to, as you watch others complain about not being able to write because the Internet's too seductive. I actually follow someone who said she had a book coming out in a few weeks. She said this two months ago. I am still waiting for the book. And so, while this seems harsh, it's a serious lesson: observe how quickly one can fly off the tracks, and be more determined in meeting your personal goals. You are also free to encourage those you observe who are having a difficult time. Because...I'm not heartless.

4. And now, the four food groups: chocolate, candy, ice cream, and caffeine. These foods are essential when you're writing, so GO NUTS! The only thing I try to avoid when I'm writing are fried foods because they put me to sleep, but otherwise, it's a calorie free-for-all when in draft mode. I allow this for myself since after writing two books, I've decided that it takes a lot out of me to go to "emotional places" when I write, and everything I take out of me when I write? I put back in via chocolate squares and Sour Patch Kids. So enjoy.

If you follow these tips, you'll have a finished draft in a matter of days or a matter of months, depending on your life situation. A huge sense of accomplishment will result, because even though the re-write can be a pain and the editing stages never-ending, nothing and no one can take away the fact that you invented a story straight from the rawness of your mind, and one day, you'll find readers who experience it and love it.

And there is nothing sarcastic about that.  :-)

Happy writing!

Romi Moondi is a Canadian independent author of The Book of Awful, NOT Love Poems for Real Life, Year of the Chick, and Year of the Chick: A Prequel. When Romi isn’t writing, she enjoys reading, running, baking, and observing strangers who she eventually writes about. For more information, you can visit Romi’s blog and connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Mod Mom: Today’s June Cleaver


I would’ve liked to have lived in the 1950s. I love fifties music, and perhaps that’s why I can sing almost every verse of most Buddy Holly songs. And who doesn’t like a good poodle skirt? Whether it was or not, life seemed a little less complex back then. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t like my iPhone or a frothy Starbucks cappuccino, I do. But thanks to women’s liberation, I now get to work two full time jobs and try to squeeze in writing and marketing my book in between.
 
Modern moms work. And I don’t just mean working moms. I’ve watched stay-at-home moms that may even work harder than I do. They endure without a break and without a paycheck to validate them at the end of the week. Luckily, I have a good balance. If you’re a mom, no matter which camp you fall into, finding balance is key.

Still, I want to be June Cleaver for my kids. I want them to embrace their childhood in a world that makes them grow up too fast. I want them to remember that mommy let them climb into bed with her when they had a bad dream, even if the parenting book said she shouldn’t. I want them to add colored sprinkles to their toast and eat breakfast with a smile on their face. It’s hard, and I’m exhausted, but I still find a way to bring cupcakes for their class. (It’s a good thing schools don’t allow homemade treats anymore.) But, that’s just what modern moms do, right? I look forward to sharing my stories with you, and I hope you’ll do the same. 


Maeli and Grady’s Favorite Sprinkle Toast

Spread whipped cream cheese across top of toast.
Add favorite sprinkles and a touch of cinnamon, if desired.
Cut into squares.
Spread the love.

 

Misa Rush competed in gymnastics for eighteen years, including four on a full-ride scholarship to Eastern Michigan University. She graduated from Arizona State University with a master's degree in business administration. She currently resides in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband and two children. Family Pieces is her first novel. For more information, connect with Misa on http://misarush.com, Facebook and Twitter.

Gal Pals: Why Every Woman Needs Friends Like Rachel, Monica, & Phoebe

By Isabella Louise Anderson

Ladies, don’t we love our besties? They’re our BFFs, our confidants, and sometimes the sisters that we never had! Through thick and thin, they’re by our sides for our most exciting and our most heartbreaking moments. We have our fair share of disagreements, but we get through them, realizing that they make our friendship stronger.

From 1994 to 2004, I spent my Thursday nights with the ladies from Friends, Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston), Monica Geller (Courteney Cox), and Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow). Not only were they friends with one another, they were my friends, too! It was comforting to know that they would always be there. No matter what I was going through in my teen years to the age of 23, Rachel, Monica and Phoebe were with me during the good times and the bad. It doesn’t matter that I’ve literally seen every episode at least ten times -- the show never gets old. Their diverse personalities and constant love and admiration for one another displayed what the true meaning of being a friend is. Sadly, the show came to an end, and since then I’ve never seen a group of girls that have such a strong bond with each other.

Why you need a friend like Rachel: Beautiful, caring and fun-loving Rachel Green is the girl next door. She doesn’t judge, lets you cry on her shoulder and would do anything for a friend. You can go to her for a good laugh, but when you let her borrow your earrings, she has a tendency to misplace them. Unlike Monica and Phoebe, she’s the calm, confident one, and seems comfortable in most situations. Whether it’s out for a girl’s night or a slumber party at home while lounging in your pajamas, she rolls with the punches. If she’s in a relationship or isn’t “on a break” from Ross, she splits her time between the man she’s with and her best friend. You know that if you ask her to be there, she will -- especially when you need her the most. 

Why you need a friend like Monica: Control freak, funny and sassy Monica Geller used to be the fat girl who is now thin. She’s supportive and loyal, and while you might not always like her honest opinions, she’s the one who’s going to say it to your face and encourages you to do the right thing. She’ll help comfort you when you break up with your man, and will even bake you a batch of Toll House cookies! Even if she’s in a relationship with a man half her age who is in high school, or with Richard (Tom Selleck), her eye doctor who is the same age as her dad, she’ll be there for you no matter what. When she loves, she loves with her whole heart, and that’s a great quality to have in a best friend.

Why you need a friend like Phoebe: Wacky, carefree and childlike, Phoebe Buffay is your quirkiest friend. She doesn’t know how to ride a bike and runs like a child, but she doesn’t care. She believes in honesty, and encourages her friends to be that way towards others, no matter what. In her world, the glass is always half-filled, and she always looks on the bright side. Her relationships take a backseat to her friends. Even if the love of her life comes back to town and wants to take her to dinner, she’ll say she can’t because she’s already made plans with one of her friends.

**This article was coincidentally written while watching Friends. (I love that reruns are still being shown!)



Isabella Louise Anderson is a member of the RWA, and she is the owner of the website Chick Lit Goddess. She resides in Dallas, Texas, where she’s a housewife and mother to 12-year-old cat, Thorndike. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can learn more about Isabella here.

Broomies: One Year Anniversary

By Laura Chapman 

This month marks a special moment in my life – the one year anniversary of moving into a house with my two big brothers. Together we rent the small ranch house we lived in with our parents and little sister years ago. Sometimes it feels weird living there, like our parents are gone for the weekend and could return at any moment. Other times, that familiarity is nice and comfortable.

Even without Mom or Dad on hand to play referee, the three of us have managed not to kill each other. Mind you, we drive each other crazy, but I consider maintaining peace a small victory. It does not always come easily. Each of us makes compromises and concessions. And at times, none of us win. It has been a learning experience to say the least. With one year of life with my broomies (brothers/roomies) behind me, I want to share five of the big lessons I have picked up along the way.

No. 1: Listening does not matter as long as the other person responds accordingly. Unless it has to do with how much we owe on bills or when our parents expect us for Easter dinner, the broomies and I seldom listen to the entirety of anything one of us says to the other. The broomies do not care if I listen to their analysis of a football game as long as I nod in agreement. Likewise, a “nice,” is a satisfactory response when I tell them about a book I read. For us, good communication means less is more.

No. 2: Cupboards are difficult to shut. And apparently it is impossible to press “reset” on the microwave after taking a dish out before the time is up. When this happens, I find it is best to just close the door and clear the timer and get on with my life. Then I let it go, or rather I make no complaint to them. Even though it drives me crazy, I have learned to pick my battles. Getting into a fight over one of these pet peeves just is not worth it.

7UP made lawn work slightly better in 1962...
No. 3: When it comes to lawn work, chivalry should not be dead. I hate mowing the lawn more than any other chore. I tried it when I was 16 and a neighbor criticized my technique. I swore off doing it ever again. Somehow, I have managed to get through a year without ever having to touch the lawn. And I plan to make it through another. I will load and unload as many dishwashers as it takes to stay off lawnmower duty. In return, I will hope neither of them catches me when I say it is not my turn in the yard.

No. 4: In other cases, being a man means nothing. This past winter our household came under siege from some unwanted guests: mice. We had two take up residence, and even though we found the source of their entry, getting them to leave was a challenge. We set up traps, filled every entrance to the outside with steel wool and monitored the mouse activity. There were a lot of tears (all mine), screams (from everyone) and arguments. And eventually, using a seemingly ridiculous concept I found online, I caught the bastards. What did we learn from this? We all hate mice, and sometimes the little sister can save the day.

No. 5: Under no circumstance should I leave my underwear anywhere but my clothes hamper or dresser drawer. This goes for my makeup, shoes and anything else that falls in the “girl” category. Unless I want broomie retaliation in some horrifying or unimaginable form, I cannot fail in this task. So far, I have avoided falling prey to any of these threats, but fear is still there. Boys are gross, and I do not want to see what they come up with.

Here’s hoping we make the peace last into year two.


Laura Chapman is a journalist, blogger, book reviewer and yet-to-be published novelist. In 2010, she founded Change the Word, a blog that follows her writing career and offers book reviews, author promotions and writing tips. Based in Lincoln, Nebraska, she has two completed novels in editing and is hard at work on her third, which she is adapting for a web series. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can find out more about Laura here.