What Would A Woman Do?: Balancing Momminess & Sexiness

By Lori Verni-Fogarsi
Balancing momminess and sexiness. This is one of the themes in my novel, Momnesia, and when I tell people about it, their most common response is, “Sexiness? Yeah, right!”

As women, we have so many responsibilities. Between kids, work, pets, household and other family duties, it’s easy to become so swirled into the vortex of life that we forget about ourselves. In chatting with women, I’ve found that almost every one agrees that balancing our responsibilities with taking care of ourselves is a challenge to say the least. Usually, when time crunches tightly, “we” are the first to forgo. Fun? For me? Who has time for that?!

However, there’s a reason this article appears in the Good Humor Girl “What Would A Woman Do?” section, and that’s because we women don’t just let problems fester! We nurture! We fix! We identify problems and do something about them!

If your child were, let’s say, being bullied at school, you would do whatever is necessary to rectify the problem, right? Chances are that you’d meet with administrators, talk with your child, help them to foster true friendships, etc. The same is true if there were a problem with a project at work; you’d solve it.

When it comes to taking care of ourselves, it can help to put an actual plan in place. Here are ten easy tips toward taking good care of ourselves. Enjoy!

  1. Make an “appointment.” Don’t wait for some magical day when you and your girlfriends are all suddenly going to have free time. Instead, schedule time—even just an hour or two—and stick to it, just as you would a doctor appointment or job interview.
  2. Light scented candles… without waiting for company to come.
  3. Treat yourself to a small decadence each day. This might be as simple as buying a container of Caramel Macchiato creamer and using it in your coffee every day.
  4. Lock the bathroom door and don’t feel guilty about it. Yes, you are entitled to pee without an audience.
  5. Listen to music that you enjoy (eg: not sung by cartoon characters).
  6. Wear your “big girl” clothes, instead of saving them for some fictional day when you won’t have to worry about ruining them.
  7. Can’t afford an expensive restaurant on date night? Use the same budget, but go to a nice place & just order appetizers, instead of going somewhere filled with screaming kids and coloring pages.
  8. Teach your family that moms are people too and that your interests, wants, and needs are just as important as everyone else’s. (And that no, your favorite activities are not cooking, cleaning, and working!)
  9. Think of something you used to enjoy and make time to start doing it again. This might be as simple as polishing your nails, playing a game of tennis, or reading a (non-rhyming, non-work-related) book!
  10. Most importantly, believe it yourself! When you start to feel overloaded, overwhelmed, or wracked with guilt, remind yourself that taking good care of yourself will help you to be more energetic, less resentful, and everyone will be happier overall!
As I share this perspective just before Mother’s Day, my hope is that we can all strive to put ourselves at the top of our list of important things, and continue to do them all year long. Have any additional good ideas for finding balance? Please share them with us here!

Lori Verni-Fogarsi is the author of the hot new novel, Momnesia. She has been a freelance writer, columnist, journalist, and seminar speaker for 15+ years, and has authored one nonfiction book. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can learn more about her here.