Keep It To Yourself! (Or Tell Your Therapist)

Every girl enjoys sharing. Over a glass of Pinot Noir or a grande skim latte, we love to talk about our guy and our relationships, what we love about him, what bugs us, and where we think the relationship is headed. Being able to confide in girlfriends is probably one of the greatest gifts in life, but where should you draw the line? Telling your girlfriend everything could get you in a lot of trouble. It could make her hate your guy, think he’s weird, question whether he’s good enough for you, and even make her think you should break up with him. When it comes to telling your girlfriends about the man you love, here are some topics you should strongly consider avoiding!

Fights: There are arguments in every relationship, and it’s okay to vent to your GF. That said, avoid telling her specific things that he said to you during a heated argument. “You’re a bitch!” “I can’t deal with you nagging me all the time,” and “Stop listening to your girlfriends,” are things you should keep to yourself. Because when the fight’s over, and the two of you are back in love, you’ll forget all of those comments, but your girlfriends never will.

Sex: What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom! Don’t share the intimate details of your sex life with even your closest GF. First of all, she doesn’t want to hear it, and might judge. Just sayin’. But even more importantly, sex is so much better if it stays between the two people who are doing it. The sexiest thing of all is when both of you know that you’re the only ones who know what goes on in the privacy of your bedroom.

His habits: He chews tobacco. He bets sports and goes to the OTB semi-monthly. He sneaks cigarettes from time to time. He sleeps with a sound machine. He’s a slob, to the point where his place only looks clean for a few hours every two weeks (after his cleaning woman has been there). These habits drive you nuts! So, obviously, they will turn off your girlfriends. Don’t share.

His ex relationships: Best friends don’t judge, right? Well, I guarantee they will if they find out about your guy’s past. Maybe he cheated on his last girlfriend. Maybe he dumped a girl out of the blue. Maybe he got so angry with a girl that he punched a hole in the wall of his old apartment. If you love him and you trust him, you will accept these things about him. But, I guarantee your girlfriends won’t. They will say they do, but they won’t. They will try really hard not to, but they will judge just a little bit. You don’t need that! It’s okay to tell them about his exes, but just be careful about how many details you want to include.

Finances: Why do your friends need to know your boyfriend’s salary? Let’s say it’s really high. If you tell them, all it will do is make things weird when you guys all go out, and your girlfriends will assume he’s buying the drinks. Second scenario, let’s say he’s really hurting for cash. Again, why do they need to know this? It will only make them feel sorry for him or give you a lecture on how you should consider keeping your options open and dating a guy with money. When you’re in love, finances don’t matter. So, you have two choices. Love the guy for who he is, or break up. How much dough he has is no one else’s business!

Political views: “He’s a democrat,” or “He’s a republican,” is all you need to say about your honey’s political views. If you get into why he disapproves of Obama’s healthcare plan or how he can’t bear to watch Fox News channel, you’re only hurting yourself. Let your guy talk politics with your girlfriends directly (if it comes up). Don’t share his views for him.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my girlfriends, I tell them LOTS of things about my relationship, and I welcome their advice on certain things. But, just be careful, because sharing too much could cause some issues, and if you end up marrying the guy (or if you’re already married) telling too much might affect the way your BFF feels about your sweetheart and ultimately, that could affect your friendship. 

Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the novels Jackpot and Hook, Line, and Sink Him. She is a graduate of Boston University with a master’s degree in communication, and she currently writes for various magazines. Jackie lives with her family in Chicago where she is working on her next novel. To learn more: