5 Most Played Songs On My iPod: Week of May 14, 2012


Stand UpOne Direction Okay, I should start out by being honest. The whole One Direction album Up All Night has been on repeat, not just this one song. But this one has been played a bit more than the others. Why? It’s simple. When Harry sings, “You can call me a thief,” it makes me melt/swoon/smile, and I’m much older than the target demographic of this type of music. Just the way he sings it. I love it. I’m a huge fan of boy bands, and my love for them will be thoroughly addressed in a separate post. Or posts. Because you can never say too much about boy bands, right? Stay tuned…

We Are YoungFun. I was first introduced to this song when I saw the music video on Teen Nick. Yes, I watch Teen Nick. (Not too big of a surprise given my love for the Disney Channel.) I know this list of songs and the networks I watch could be considered embarrassing to some. But not me. I embrace the fact that my taste in music and television is still that of a sixteen year old. Whatever. Anyway, this song is just so catchy and a total anthem for teens/young adults. Oh, and the lead singer looks just like Mark Wahlberg. It’s like a throwback to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Well, not exactly.  

Coming Up StrongKarmin Here’s another group that I first saw on Teen Nick. You’re probably thinking I’m like fifteen, but I’m not. I promise. After I really enjoyed Karmin’s single Crash Your Party, I did what anyone who wants updates from a band would do… I “liked” them on Facebook. Eventually, their EP Hello was released, and I immediately fell in love with Coming Up Strong. Number one reason: Nick sings by himself! Wait, let me explain. If you don’t know, Karmin is a duo: Amy and Nick (they're engaged!). Amy is the lead singer, and every song I had heard thus far featured Amy mostly and Nick just singing background vocals. Amy is fantastic, but I’m glad Nick finally got a chance to shine too.

Everybody TalksNeon Trees I just heard this on the radio a few days ago. And no, it wasn’t on Radio Disney! It was on the local rock/alternative station, and I knew I had to have it on my iPod asap. It has kind of a retro vibe, and the music videotakes place at a drive-in. Right up my alley. 

Good GirlCarrie Underwood I’ve been a huge fan of Carrie Underwood since she won American Idol. Her singing is flawless. Every time I see her perform, I’m in awe. What a voice! I wish I could sing like her. (Side note: I actually can sing pretty decently, and I was in a girl group with two of my friends when I was a teenager. We wanted to open for ‘N Sync someday. Sadly, that didn’t happen. We got as far as playing one “gig” at a Holiday Inn and then disbanded. But that’s a story for another post…) As soon as I heard Good Girl, I knew it would be a hit. Carrie definitely knows how to pick great songs. 

What are you listening to this week?

Nancy Scrofano is the editor of Good Humor Girl and the author of True Love Way. She is also the editor of The Chick Lit Bee, a book blog that promotes and celebrates women’s fiction, and she writes book reviews for a prestigious book review magazine. Nancy is at work on her next novel. For more information, please visit www.nancyscrofano.com

Top 10 Mistakes People Make When Dating

When it comes to dating, do you ever wish you could have a do-over with someone? Wish you wouldn’t have put so much pressure on Dave to get married? Wish you wouldn’t have broken up so quickly with Tom? Wish you wouldn’t have kissed another guy while dating Tony? Wish you wouldn’t have actually told Tony you kissed another guy? Wish you’d have been more open minded and gone out on a second date with Greg? 

Everyone has regrets when it comes to relationships. We all mess up, and we all wish we could take things back or handle things differently. But, we can’t. What we can do though, is learn from our mistakes and try to be better in certain ways in our next relationship. 

I’m not a psychologist and I’m not an expert by any means when it comes to dating, but what I can say is that I’ve dated a lot in my life and I’ve been around lots of single people. That’s why I feel I have the credibility to write “The Top 10 Mistakes People Make When Dating.” Remember, this is only my opinion. I’m sure many of you who read this will think of your own mistakes, some that might not be on my list. All I can advise you to do is remember them in your next relationship, so that you don’t make the same mistakes. Here are “The Top 10 Mistakes People Make When Dating:”

10.  THEY DON’T GIVE THE PERSON A CHANCE. I have so many friends (and I have done this myself) who go out with a guy and they know in the first two minutes that there is no way this is going anywhere. Looking back, I think there were a lot of guys who I judged too quickly and walked away without really getting to know them. TALK! Sometimes the spark takes awhile to ignite.

9. THEY TELL THEIR FRIENDS TOO MUCH INFO!  If you have an argument with your boyfriend, or he does something that upsets you, don’t be so quick to tell your girlfriends all about it. Because when you get over it and you’re all lovey-dovey with the guy again, you’ll forget what your guy did to you. BUT, your girlfriends never will.

8. THEY STOP DOING THE THINGS THEY LOVE. Don’t ever lose yourself. In other words, don’t stop doing the things you love to do. If you love to go to a diner and have breakfast by yourself and read the paper, keep doing that. And NEVER stop going out with your girlfriends. I don’t care how busy you are. Make time for them!

7. THEY FREAK OUT AND BECOME DISTANT. I see this mostly from guys, but women do it too. They stop calling because they put too much pressure on themselves and they freak themselves out that the relationship is getting way too serious. Guys, if you feel this way, keep it to yourself. The girl hasn’t done anything you haven’t done. You are both responsible for the relationship heating up. So, just take a mental break and regroup. Talk it through to yourself logically. Or even better, talk to the girl! Tell her how you are feeling. Don’t just stop calling. Commitment can be healthy! It’s natural to be afraid, but try to work through it instead of blowing a really good thing!

6. THEY PUT MAJOR PRESSURE ON THE OTHER PERSON. On the flip side, I see this mostly from women (and I’m sure I’m guilty of it.) Let the other person breathe. Let him get there. Let the relationship take all the time it needs to develop. I know it’s really difficult because you love, love, love this guy and you want to be his bride yesterday!! But SLOW DOWN. If you say nothing to the guy about the future, you will see him get closer and closer to the things you want.

5. THEY DATE TOO MANY PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME. If you go into Dunkin Donuts and you buy a dozen assorted donuts and you start having a bite of each of them, they won’t taste good. You’ll probably just make yourself sick. Sort of the same concept with dating. One guy or girl at a time, please! You can’t really give someone a chance if you are dating 5 others at the same time. Focus!

 4.THEY IGNORE RED FLAGS. If the guy has 8 beers on your first date, hmm…  maybe he’s a big drinker. If he has 8 beers on the second date, hmm…maybe he’s a big drinker. If he has 8 beers on the third date, hmm… Ignore it because his eyes are dreamy and he’s a great kisser? I don’t think so. Get the picture? 

3. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT KIDS COME FIRST. If you are dating someone who has kids, never forget that the kids will always come before you. If you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t be dating someone with kids. It’s not a bad thing, by the way, and it’s not wrong. It’s just the way it is. Don’t YOUR kids come first? And if you don’t have kids, do NOT take it personally!

2. THEY TRY TO CHANGE HIM OR HER. What you see at the beginning of the relationship is going to magnify more and more as time goes by. You have two choices. Live with it or find someone else. Does he like to play hockey on Friday nights and will be unavailable every Friday night for the rest of his life? If that bugs you, it’s not fair to tell him not to play. Let him play or break up with him.
 
1. THEY RUSH INTO IT. I know it’s really hard not to rush things when you fall in love. You want to spend every second with the person and more. But, pace it. Let things breathe. Especially if there are kids involved. Going slowly will make it even stronger and better! 

Lastly, on a side note, when one relationship ends, let yourself grieve it. I’m not saying stay home and cry and eat junk food and watch TV. But, don’t feel like you have to rush into another relationship. BE BY YOURSELF. You’ll like it!!

Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the novels Jackpot and Hook, Line, and Sink Him. She is a graduate of Boston University with a master’s degree in communication, and she currently writes for various magazines. Jackie lives with her family in Chicago where she is working on her next novel. To learn more: www.jackiepilossoph.net

Especially Enchanting: The Disney Prince

 
Disney has ruined men for me. No point denying it, my standards for a suitable mate are high and difficult to meet. After hours spent glued to my TV screen watching the prince get the princess, my checklist (no denying it ladies, we all have one), is a hodgepodge of the ridiculous.
 
Take a look at a few items on my list to judge for yourself:

Confident and determined boat owner with a love for seafood and French cuisine. Is there anything sexier than a man than confidence and determination? Prince Eric has both in surplus. While the part about the boat may seem superficial, it is not. Well, not entirely.  Having a boat represents a sense of adventure and financial security. Wanting financial security does not make me a gold digger. It makes me responsible. As for the bit about food – I don’t want to be denied my favorite Indian and Greek foods, because they are too exotic. Take a page from Prince Eric, gentlemen. Expand your palette. 

Bonus points:Owns beachfront property.

Sensitive and misunderstood rebel who wants a better life and goes for it. When it comes to guys from the wrong side of the track, Aladdin has a lot going on. Sure he may have a bit of a record, but circumstances pushed him into a life of thieving. Plus, he probably shares the goods with hungry kids, like Aladdin did. He will have a heart of gold. If you’re the type who likes to save the not-so-bad boy (guilty here), an Aladdin is ideal.

Bonus points: Has well-defined abs and arms. And a sweet ride.

Mysterious art collector with an extensive library. Do you remember the envy and exhilaration you felt the moment the Beast gave Belle his library? If a man wants to know the way to my heart, it is with a one-of-a-kind library featuring floor-to-cathedral-ceiling fully-stocked bookshelves with plenty of natural lighting. A man who collects books, artwork and music, has depth and cultural awareness. You are guaranteed at least a few nights out to the symphony or a play instead of going to see the latest action flick every date night. And we all love mystery.

Bonus points:Employs a quirky, but efficient, staff.

Gentle equestrian who can sing. Of the old-school men, Prince Phillip has to be my favorite. He is dashing and witty and goes to extreme lengths to get the girl. But aside from that, he displays other welcome qualities. He is an animal lover. He knows how to sing. Have you ever had a guy sing/perform a song just for you? Trust me, it’s hot.
 
Bonus points: Doesn’t think you’re crazy for talking to your cats – he talks to his horse.


Mad fashion sense with smooth moves on the dance floor. Prince Charming is the type of guy you can take out for a night on the town. The guy knows how to dress, and he can work it on the dance floor. If you want to hang with my friends and I on the weekends, you are going to have to bust a move.

Bonus points: Recognizes that a girl needs her shoes.
Goal-oriented hard worker with high career ambitions. In “Mulan,” Li Shang leads an army to victory against the Huns.  He wants to rise to the top of his field. Instead of crying about the lack of talent in his ranks, he vows to make them better soldiers. Even though a man in uniform is totally hot, I would settle for one with any career goals. This has nothing to do with money and everything to do with motivation and ambition. It’s sexy. Granted, he will need to balance his work and personal life, but we can get there.

Bonus points: Has martial art skills.

Zero in-law drama. Ever notice how most men in Disney movies have absent or uninvolved parents? How awesome would it be to never have to worry about pleasing the in-laws?

Bonus points: Not afraid of a little PDA.

There may come a day when I have to concede a few of these points. Until then, a girl can dream. I’m still holding out.

Laura Chapman is a journalist, blogger, book reviewer and yet-to-be published novelist. In 2010, she founded Change the Word, a blog that follows her writing career and offers book reviews, author promotions and writing tips. Based in Lincoln, Nebraska, she has two completed novels in editing and is hard at work on her third, which she is adapting for a web series. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can find out more about Laura here

Televisionary: How TV Moms Have Changed

 
From June Cleaver to Claire Dunphy and all those in between, TV moms have become more contemporary.  Since times have changed, many modern-day women are finding it easier to relate to the moms on TV because they share the daily hassles of the busy mom/wife/career woman.  The following moms made a name for themselves in homes across the country.  All have been, and will forever remain, some of my favorite moms on TV.

TV Mom: June Cleaver(Barbra Billingsley)

One reason I watched reruns of Leave It To Beaver was because of the older son, Wally (a total hottie back in the day, played by Tony Dow), but it was more than that.  I was fascinated with June Cleaver and the pearls she wore around her neck – I’d like to assume they were a gift from Ward (Hugh Beaumont) because he loved her, and were a gift of his appreciation for her daily chores as a wife and a mother.  I remember watching an episode where she was vacuuming in pearls.  I hadn’t seen anything like it, especially in real life.  When my mom vacuumed, somehow it never looked as glamorous as June.  Between doing household chores, she somehow found time to occasionally socialize with friends and volunteer at Wally and Beaver’s school.  How did she make this look sodarn easy?  In reality, this is only a dream!  Am I right?  However, if you are one who can pull a June Cleaver without breaking a sweat, keep sipping your martini.  I’ll join you when the dishes and laundry learn to clean themselves, the kids have moved out, the husband has stopped following me around like a lost puppy, and I’ve had a very long nap.

TV Mom: Clair Huxtable (Phylicia Rashad)

The Cosby Show was the first show that I watched where not only did the dad work, but also the mom.  Married to Dr. Heathcliff “Cliff” Huxtable (Bill Cosby) and mother of five children, lawyer Clair is one of the greatest multitasking women who has ever been on TV.  To some, she’s also known for her bright 80s clothing and hairstyle.  After coming home to her family, somehow Clair finds time to still put a meal on the table and devote herself to her family.  While Clair can be strict (my favorite episode of this example is thisepisode when Vanessa gets drunk), the message she instills in her children is that she loves them no matter what.  I think that Clair’s character was the first step in modernizing all moms on TV.  It allowed them to feel comfortable being that busy mom, but still be able to create a loving household.  Oh, and one little tidbit: I read that her character was based “loosely” on Bill Cosby’s wife!  How cool is that?  Clair Huxtable rocks!

TV Mom: Debra Barone(Patricia Heaton)

Debra is a wife of sports writer Ray (Ray Romano) who travels a lot, and mother of three young children, a girl and twin boys.  She’s the typical stay-at-home/soccer mom who does it all.  She is judged about how she cleans the house and about the food she puts on the table by her mother-in-law, Marie (Doris Roberts), who lives next door and comes over at all hours.  Debra is not fooled by the silly antics of her mama’s boy husband; like when they fight about a suitcase that neither of them has put up since going on vacation weeks prior in the Baggageepisode.  She isn’t afraid to speak her mind when needed and even sometimes when not needed, but family comes first.  When it comes to her kids, Debra’s motherly instinct is visible in every episode of this hilarious sitcom.  I love Debra Barone because she seems real and is someone you or I could be friends with.

TV Mom: Claire Dunphy(Julie Bowen)

If you’ve ever watched this laugh-out-loud show, you know Claire Dunphy is an extremely busy woman to whom you can probably relate.  As a wife to Phil (Ty Burrell), mother to three teenagers and part of a large extended family, she hardly has time to rest.  Being an overachiever and perfectionist, Claire is known as the ringleader of this crazy and loving family, and rarely says “no” to any of their requests – no matter how wild or extravagant they may be.  Between attending her kids' school activities and helping them with projects, she doesn’t neglect paying her husband attention.  She knows she’s aging, but that hasn’t stopped her from wanting to spice things up behind closed doors.  The My Funky Valentine episode is a personal favorite.  She definitely isn’t June Cleaver!  I love Claire’s character because she doesn’t sweat the small stuff and stands up for what she believes in the most: her family.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Isabella Louise Anderson is a member of the RWA, and she is the owner of the website Chick Lit Goddess. She resides in Dallas, Texas, where she’s a housewife and mother to 12-year-old cat, Thorndike. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can learn more about Isabella here.

What Would A Woman Do?: Balancing Momminess & Sexiness

By Lori Verni-Fogarsi
 
Balancing momminess and sexiness. This is one of the themes in my novel, Momnesia, and when I tell people about it, their most common response is, “Sexiness? Yeah, right!”

As women, we have so many responsibilities. Between kids, work, pets, household and other family duties, it’s easy to become so swirled into the vortex of life that we forget about ourselves. In chatting with women, I’ve found that almost every one agrees that balancing our responsibilities with taking care of ourselves is a challenge to say the least. Usually, when time crunches tightly, “we” are the first to forgo. Fun? For me? Who has time for that?!

However, there’s a reason this article appears in the Good Humor Girl “What Would A Woman Do?” section, and that’s because we women don’t just let problems fester! We nurture! We fix! We identify problems and do something about them!

If your child were, let’s say, being bullied at school, you would do whatever is necessary to rectify the problem, right? Chances are that you’d meet with administrators, talk with your child, help them to foster true friendships, etc. The same is true if there were a problem with a project at work; you’d solve it.

When it comes to taking care of ourselves, it can help to put an actual plan in place. Here are ten easy tips toward taking good care of ourselves. Enjoy!

  1. Make an “appointment.” Don’t wait for some magical day when you and your girlfriends are all suddenly going to have free time. Instead, schedule time—even just an hour or two—and stick to it, just as you would a doctor appointment or job interview.
  2. Light scented candles… without waiting for company to come.
  3. Treat yourself to a small decadence each day. This might be as simple as buying a container of Caramel Macchiato creamer and using it in your coffee every day.
  4. Lock the bathroom door and don’t feel guilty about it. Yes, you are entitled to pee without an audience.
  5. Listen to music that you enjoy (eg: not sung by cartoon characters).
  6. Wear your “big girl” clothes, instead of saving them for some fictional day when you won’t have to worry about ruining them.
  7. Can’t afford an expensive restaurant on date night? Use the same budget, but go to a nice place & just order appetizers, instead of going somewhere filled with screaming kids and coloring pages.
  8. Teach your family that moms are people too and that your interests, wants, and needs are just as important as everyone else’s. (And that no, your favorite activities are not cooking, cleaning, and working!)
  9. Think of something you used to enjoy and make time to start doing it again. This might be as simple as polishing your nails, playing a game of tennis, or reading a (non-rhyming, non-work-related) book!
  10. Most importantly, believe it yourself! When you start to feel overloaded, overwhelmed, or wracked with guilt, remind yourself that taking good care of yourself will help you to be more energetic, less resentful, and everyone will be happier overall!
As I share this perspective just before Mother’s Day, my hope is that we can all strive to put ourselves at the top of our list of important things, and continue to do them all year long. Have any additional good ideas for finding balance? Please share them with us here!

Lori Verni-Fogarsi is the author of the hot new novel, Momnesia. She has been a freelance writer, columnist, journalist, and seminar speaker for 15+ years, and has authored one nonfiction book. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can learn more about her here.