How to Date Your Husband


Dating. Exciting times, right? Dating your husband? Um, perhaps not so much! Let’s face it ladies, going on the same dates with the same guy for years and years (and years!) could easily become boring, to put it kindly.

Scientifically, it’s a known fact that the highs we experience when first falling in love wane significantly after about eighteen months. A physiological imperative, we may not be able to get around that, but we can take steps to keep things ramped up long-term!

Here are a few tips to help keep the romance going, dates lively, and have both of you looking forward to spending time together!

1. Remind yourself of what you like about him - What are the reasons you fell in love? Is he handsome, funny, smart, a good dancer? Whatever the things are that attracted you to him in the first place are likely still there… although they may be hidden under the daily grind of work, parenting, and mowing the lawn. Seek and ye shall find!

2. Think about what initially made him attracted to you - Over time, we tend to get a bit too… (name your poison) serious, comfortable, busy, whatever. Try to remember the person you were when you were dating and let those traits come out on today’s dates! Sexy? Funny? Intellectual? A little naughty? Bring it!

3. Ban romance-killing conversation - Yes, you love your kids. Yes, you work hard at your jobs. Yes, your mother needs help moving a dresser. Be brief, ladies! Think about what you would talk about if you were dating a new guy. Your mother’s dresser? No! If necessary, spend a few minutes on Yahoo Newsbrowsing some articles and headlines to get an idea of what’s going on outside of your daily life. A great band coming to town? A new restaurant everyone’s talking about? A good book you’ve just read? A controversial trial in the news? Cultivate date night conversations that bring out the people in you and set aside the humdrum topics of daily life.

4. Go different places - Sure, we all have our favorite haunts and sometimes that’s nice, but it can bring a little excitement to mix things up! Try a new restaurant, go to a different pub, visit a museum, or drive to another area and walk the downtown. Just being somewhere different and experiencing new things together can make the date more fun.

5. Act as if you’re on a date - This may sound simple, but the truth is that we may become a little too comfortable with our husbands. I’m not saying that you should act phony, but do act as if you’re on a date! If you were freshly dating, you would put on a nice outfit, do your makeup, and refrain from openly yawning. Do the same when dating your husband! Make eye contact, smile, let yourself laugh, touch his arm. It can make a huge difference!

6. Stop “waiting” to get your “sexy back” - Let’s face it, we’re not in high school anymore and certain things may have changed over time. Whether you’ve had children, too many rich meals, or time is simply catching up with you—get over it! Instead of lamenting the loss of what you were like before, make the most of the you that you are right now. Let yourself feel sexy and you’ll start acting sexy, seeming sexy, being sexy. And self-confidence is attractive!

7. Make love like you’re dating - For most married couples, love making can become a habitual pattern that gets to be like watching your favorite movie for the hundredth time: You enjoy it, but it certainly isn’t exciting or surprising. Mix things up a bit, whether it be a different position, a different room, or simply sending him a spicy text while he’s taking the dog for his last walk of the night!

I hope you enjoy these tips, and I look forward to your comments! Have additional ideas to share? Post them here! Like these ideas? Let us know! Most of all, have fun!

Lori Verni-Fogarsi has been a freelance writer, journalist, columnist, and seminar speaker for over fifteen years. She is the author of the novel, Momnesia, contemporary women's fiction,  as well as the nonfiction book, Everything You Need to Know About House Training Puppies and Adult Dogs. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. Originally a native New Yorker, she now divides her time between Raleigh, NC, and Lake Gaston, VA, where she is hard at work on her next novel. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boating, traveling with her husband, napping, and attending her children's many activities. Lori invites you to learn more at her website and enjoy her active communities on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest!

"Someday, when I'm a successful author, I will..."

 
The more involved I get with developing my craft as a writer, the more I find myself beginning sentences with, “Someday, when I am a successful author, I will…” That’s right. I am one of those writers who not only talks about writing all the time, but forces anyone within earshot to listen to my grand plans for the future. 

Unfortunately, it is more than a way for me to self-motivate. It is how I make excuses for myself.

After coming to terms with this ever-growing character flaw, I came to embrace it and laugh at it. Here is a list of some of the latest schemes.

Someday, when I am a successful author, I will:
 
  • Develop an organization system so simple and efficient that I will never be without a Post-it note, pen or highlighter. 
  • Move out of my brothers’ basement. 
  • Pay off my student and car loans like a responsible grown-up. I will take the rest of my royalties and blow it on shoes, vacations and scented candles. 
  • Read all of the books that have sat unread on my shelves for years. 
  • Use my new celebrity status to win over one of my childhood celebrity crushes, such as JC Chasez or Jonathan Taylor Thomas. If I am a successful writer, one of them will have to date me. 
  • Pay someone to make my house and yard look nice. Until then, good housekeeping can wait.
  • Hire a personal trainer named Gustav and a personal chef called Jean-Paul. Together, they will make me svelte and sexy. 
  • Take a three-month hiatus to backpack Europe. While there, I will embrace history and culture, making myself a better, well-rounded person. I will also meet a British gentleman or French vineyard owner with whom I will have a passionate, but ultimately ill-fated affair. I will use it as fodder to write a future best-seller. 
  • Buy a plot of land in Southern California. There, I will raise avocados, limes, tomatoes, peppers and grapefruits. I will trade some of the crop with a tortilla chip maker, tequila distillery and egg farmer. Combined, this will provide me with the sustenance and eccentricity I will need when I decide to become one of those reclusive authors who only steps out in the limelight every five years.

It all sounds reasonable, right?

Granted, success is in the eye of the beholder. While I could be satisfied with positive reviews and a steady income, somehow I do not think I will consider myself as having made it unless I at least get that avocado orchard.

Laura Chapman is a journalist, blogger, book reviewer and yet-to-be published novelist. In 2010, she founded Change the Word, a blog that follows her writing career and offers book reviews, author promotions and writing tips. Based in Lincoln, Nebraska, she has two completed novels in editing and is hard at work on her third, which she is adapting for a web series. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can read all Laura's articles and find out more about Laura. 

Author Interview: Meredith Mileti

What was your experience like marketing yourself and your book, prior to and after your book being published?

I really didn’t have any experience marketing myself (or anything else, for that matter) before I sold my book.  One of the first things my agent did after I sold Aftertaste was to send me to “social media camp,” an online webinar for first time authors, like me, who needed to understand the marketplace better. We learned about the importance of building a website—and a following—before the book is released.  It also educated us about how and why various sites are important for writers, how to decide who your target market is, and how to maximize your exposure to that market through tools like Facebook and Twitter.  Before taking that webinar I had used Facebook mostly just to spy on my kids.  I had a lot to learn!

It seems that online book tours or Q&A's through websites like Goodreads are the way to go these days.  Which route did you go and what was your experience like?

I agree.  I had a very positive experience doing a virtual book tour.  In the weeks preceding the book launch, my publisher sent out advance copies of Aftertaste to book bloggers and set up giveaways on popular book sites, like Goodreads.  This was useful for getting the momentum going pre-publication.  Since Aftertaste is a novel about a woman chef, we had another built-in market to tap—foodies.  There are so many wonderful well-trafficked food blogs, and recipe-sharing sites, and many of them were happy to host giveaways, review books and post interviews. With the help of an outside publicist, we identified fifty popular blogs, some of which were straight book review sites in my genre, some of which were food blogs and some of which bridged the gap between the two.  We started contacting them offering free giveaways in exchange for a review (of course, it’s always a bit of a gamble—you hope they like your book, but obviously you have to take the good with the bad!).  I also volunteered to do guest posts or interviews wherever requested.

I love Goodreads and have been a member for quite a while.  I’m also a member of Shelfari and LibraryThing. These sites are wonderful for engaging with readers and other writers.  I hosted giveaways, and contributed blog posts, and did open Q&As, which were other great ways to build pre-publication momentum.

What do you think works and does not work?

For me, it’s a little too early to tell what works and what doesn’t. Aftertaste was released in September.  I’ve been thrilled that sales have been steadily increasing. There are an overwhelming number of online opportunities to promote your work and you can easily make promotion a full time job.  If you want to continue writing, however, at some point you have to start rationing your time and deciding what you can reasonably handle.  It helps to set some time aside each day to focus on promoting your work through whichever social media sites you are most comfortable with.  At the end of the day, it will really help to promote you as a writer if you release more books, which somehow have to get written!

Did you do any book signings in person at bookstores?

Yes, I did quite a few, and I don’t think there is any substitute for meeting readers and talking with them directly.  Sometimes the events were well attended, but not always.  Still, it was an opportunity to meet readers and booksellers and make a personal connection.  Whenever I visit a city, I try to set something up on my own, or, at a minimum stop into local bookstores, introduce myself and offer to sign their stock.  It’s important to build relationships, not only with readers, but with booksellers, as well.  

Maybe it has to do with my background in psychology, but I feel as if the personal connection is key.  I answer every email or letter I receive, and try to maintain connections with many of the book clubs I visit.  I love meeting my readers.  It’s one of the many wonderful perks of the job.

How much did your publishing company assist in getting the word out about you?

Not very much.  Publishing is changing and writers have to be willing to take on the lion’s share of the promotion themselves.  Publishers today simply don’t have the resources to promote you to the degree you would like them to.  What they can do, however, is sell your book to bookstores, and try to get those bookstores excited about your book.

How do you keep your name and your book out there post-launch?

I’ve been doing lots of book club visits in the last few months, between 2 and 3 a week!  I also accept a lot of speaking engagements and have been promoted by a number of newspapers and magazines.  These are all great ways to keep your name out there and to connect with readers who are interested in your work. I also try to devote some time each day to Twitter, Facebook and my various book-related sites. 

Thank you, Cindy, for interviewing Meredith! And thank you, Meredith, for answering the questions!  
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Please leave a comment to be entered to win a paperback copy of Aftertaste. Be sure to include your email address or social media account so you can be contacted if you win. The winner will be chosen at random on Wednesday, June 20th. 
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My First TV Crush: Zack Morris

By Isabella Louise Anderson
 
Do you remember being a teen and watching your crush on TV, wishing that one day he’d come and sweep you off your feet?  A few months ago, I was flipping channels and stumbled onto a show I had not seen in forever – Saved By The Bell!  That’s when I saw him – my first teen crush, Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar).  It was love at first sight all over again.

His adorable smile, sense of humor and bleached blonde hair made teenage girls like me swoon.  Week after week, Zack was the main reason I watched the show.  It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the other cast members or storyline, but when Zack was on the screen, I felt butterflies in my stomach.  His pranks, in and out of school, constantly got him in trouble – especially with his teachers (the most famous one being Miss Bliss, played by Hayley Mills) and principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins).
 
Zack charmed his way into my heart, and he wasn’t always just a bad boy jokester. He was a lover too!  Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani Thiessen) was Zack’s high school sweetheart.  They had their ups and downs, and dated other people, but finally marriedin Las Vegas on the show’s series finale!

Since the show ended in 1994, Mark-Paul has made appearances on other shows. Last summer when the TNTshow Franklin & Bash premiered, I knew I had to tune in.  I’m so glad I did!  While his smile is still the same, his hair is no longer blonde.  In the show, Mark-Paul plays Peter Bash, an unmarried, hardworking lawyer (I know, can you believe it?!), who fights for his clients.  (Is it okay if I pretend that Kelly is still his wife and they have twins, a girl and a boy?)  Franklin & Bash began their second season on June 5th!

Now, I think my crush is a beautiful blonde, turned sexy, hot lawyer… 

Who was your first TV crush?

Isabella Louise Anderson is a member of the RWA, and she is the owner of the website Chick Lit Goddess. She resides in Dallas, Texas, where she’s a housewife and mother to 12-year-old cat, Thorndike. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can read all Isabella's articles and learn more about Isabella.

Technology Ever After

By Misa Rush

I’ve recently developed a love-hate relationship with technology. Maybe I’m just getting old. However, there was a time when I embraced it. I can remember when we got our first Commodore 64 and also playing family Atari tournaments (I was the best at Video Pinball). The C64 is now comparable to the Ford Model T, sitting in a historical museum. There wasn’t much that I could do on it, although I impressed myself by programming my name to run in diagonals across the screen. Back then, games were fun, but they were only a portion of one’s daily life.

Now, my two-year-old begs to play with my iPhone. I hide it when I’m driving, both to avoid him playing with it and to lead by example. When my kids are sixteen and driving, I can’t tell them not to be on the phone if I do it myself.

For better or worse, technology is here to stay. Some things we can do with computers are amazing. For my kindergartener’s graduation ceremony, the teacher gave each child a DVD scrapbook video of their year. It brought tears to my eyes, and my daughter will have a keepsake for her lifetime. (As long as she upgrades it to the latest technology before DVDs are obsolete.)

In a twenty year span, we’ve gone from email to Facebook. We’ve gone from voice mail to Skype. Advertisements are specifically targeted to our likes, and our social accounts are frighteningly linked together. For instance, when I read an article on CNN.com recently, it showed me which of my Facebook friends also read it. (Insert Twilight Zone song here.) I worry about privacy. I worry about identity theft. I worry about radiation and brain cancer. Yep, the paranoia list goes on. But still, I sit here at a computer, typing away with both a cell phone and iPad by my side, and I love the fact that I get to share my simple thoughts with wonderful women like you.

How do you feel about technology?
Misa Rush competed in gymnastics for eighteen years, including four on a full-ride scholarship to Eastern Michigan University. She graduated from Arizona State University with a master's degree in business administration. She currently resides in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband and two children. Family Pieces is her first novel. For more information, connect with Misa on http://misarush.com, Facebook and Twitter.