Embracing The Person You Are Today


Let’s face it ladies… things change over time. Whether you’ve had kids, too many rich meals, or time is simply following its normal course, chances are you may not look quite like you did in high school.

In my novel, Momnesia, an average mom is struggling between her “momminess” and her “sexiness.” Life has taken over, and she no longer feels like “herself” anymore. She sets about trying to finesse a new version of her old vivaciousness. In my chats with women of all ages—both with children and without—most of us can relate! The problem? She doesn’t feel sexy anymore, and according to many women I’ve spoken with in real life, this is very common. In fact, one of the most frequent comments I hear is, “Sexiness? Yeah, right!”

Many of us have a tendency to look back at who we used to be. Whether a high school cheerleader or an average gal, we often feel like we’ve strayed so far, it’s almost unimaginable that we’d ever feel the way we did before. (Before kids, before our careers took over, before whatever other changes may have occurred, etc.) Between that and all we see in the media, it’s no wonder so many of us feel decidedly un-sexy!

To some extent, we’re right. The fact is, we’re not in high school, and we’re never going to look and feel exactly like we did back then. In the story, the main character comes to this conclusion and realizes that if she “waits” to feel sexy again, she could easily be waiting forever! She also concludes that it would be extraordinarily unlikely that she would look back in ten years and think she looks any better then, than she did right now: “The Chicken Belly Flap Thing and all the other imperfections would undoubtedly still be there, but there would also be innumerable other blemishes; physical woes I hadn’t even thought of yet.”

Personally, (difficult though it sometimes is), I try to remind myself to take inspiration from this character on an ongoing basis. Sure I’d like to be thinner and not have a muffin top! But I’ve decided that, while I am working toward that goal, I’m not going to “wait” until I’m “perfect” before I put on a decent blouse and do my makeup! I try to embrace today’s version of my sexiness, rather than cheat myself out of self-esteem in the meanwhile. And self-esteem is sexy!

So many of us are “waiting for” something to happen before we “allow ourselves” to feel sexy again, but really it’s up to us to make it happen in our own hearts and minds. In our actions. In the way we think about ourselves. Instead of mourning all of the things that have changed, we can make the choice to appreciate the positive characteristics we do have, right now, at this time in our lives.

So, what do you say ladies? Shall we bring our sexy back starting now? You bet!

Lori Verni-Fogarsi has been a freelance writer, journalist, columnist, and seminar speaker for over fifteen years. She is the author of the novel, Momnesia, contemporary women's fiction,  as well as the nonfiction book, Everything You Need to Know About House Training Puppies and Adult Dogs. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. Originally a native New Yorker, she now divides her time between Raleigh, NC, and Lake Gaston, VA, where she is hard at work on her next novel. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, boating, traveling with her husband, napping, and attending her children's many activities. Lori invites you to learn more at her website and enjoy her active communities on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest!

Book Review: Gold Coast Wives


Who doesn’t love a rags-to-riches story? In Gold Coast Wives, it’s riches-to-rags-to-riches. Kate Ryan’s life was turned upside down: she lost her job, her husband, her financial security – everything she knew and loved was no more. But then, opportunity knocked. When she opened that door, she found herself to be a part of a reality television show. All hell broke loose from then onwards. Kate is then a witness to bickering, scheming and backstabbing, diva-like behavior, and everything else one could imagine would happen on a reality show about housewives of the high society circle.

Kate’s character is strong – though at times she doesn’t believe in herself – and throughout the book, she manages to endure the endless drama between the wives without losing herself. She actually manages to find the humor in things and has all the clear attributes of a likable character. If you’re a fan of all the Housewives reality television shows, then this one is definitely for you. And even if you’re not, it’s the perfect read with a glass (or two) of wine by the pool this summer.

Bernadette Walsh is a native New Yorker. When she isn't busy practicing law, she enjoys reading novels and now writing them too. She also loves indulging in her not-so-secret obsession with reality TV. Bernadette has won several writing contests. She is the author of Gold Coast Wives, The House on Prospect, and Devil's Mountain. Her forthcoming novels, Devil's Shore and Devil's Daughter, will be published by Lyrical Press in late 2012. For more information, please visit Bernadette's website
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Fifteen Firsts: Lauren Clark

What was your first car?  A Cadillac Eldorado - Burnt Orange and HUGE!

What was the first thing you learned to cook?  Lasagna... my mom's recipe!

When was your first time on an airplane?  I was a baby! My Dad's a pilot :)

What was your first paying job?  Kreher's Farm Market. I was a cashier. We sold eggs and produce. Not glamorous, but they were very nice to me!

How old were you when you had your first kiss?  Fourth grade, I think... eek!

What was the first concert you went to see?  Bryan Adams... LOVE him.

When/what was your first regrettable hairstyle?  BIG hair in the 90's.  (Covers face)

When did you get your first computer?  1993

What was your first big purchase?  A car!  White Toyota Corolla in 2001.

What was the first book that made you cry?  Little Women or the Little House on the Prairie series

Where was your first road trip?  My parents took us EVERYWHERE!!!  California, probably, as my grandparents lived there.

Who was your first best friend?  Jackie Phelps, 1st grade
 
When/where was your first trip abroad?   Germany 2001 - Loved it.

Who was your first love?   David Spencer, college

Who was your first celebrity crush?  Sean Cassidy (Brother of David Cassidy)

Lauren Clark is the author of Stay Tuned and Dancing Naked in Dixie. She writes contemporary novels set in the Deep South; stories sprinkled with sunshine, suspense, and secrets. A former TV news anchor, Lauren adores flavored coffee, local book stores, and anywhere she can stick her toes in the sand. Her big loves are her family, paying it forward, and true-blue friends. Check out her website at www.laurenclarkbooks.com.

What’s In Your Bag?

 
Accessories add something to make you stand out from the crowd.  That’s right, accessorize!  What do some call their “favorite accessory?”  A purse!  Whether it’s a purse, handbag, or clutch, a lot of us try to match it with what we wear, especially when going out on the town at night.  But if you’re feeling fun and fearless (like Cosmopolitan women), and want to add a bright colored purse, then go for it!

I recently bought a small, bright blue clutch to add a splash of color to my new White House Black Market top and black slacks.  There was only one problem.  I couldn’t fit everything that I normally carry.  Not even my iPhone would fit without stuffing, causing the material to bulge out.  While small bags are cute, they just don’t cut it, especially everything that a modern day woman carries.  I’ve seen women carrying enormous bags with everything stuffed in there from books, magazines, water, baby bottles, running shoes, hair brushes, iPads, Kindles…the list could go on and on.  I could only imagine what a mom carries in her bag (with oversized purses, what’s the point of a diaper bag anymore?).  This led me to wonder what other women carry in their bags.

Us Weekly is my favorite magazine for celebrity gossip.  In it is an article titled What’s In My Bag? where a featured celeb (example: Miranda Lambert) shows and explains the contents in their purse, clutch, or handbag. Celebs really aren’t any different than us. Another featured article in the magazine titled, Stars – They’re Just Like Us! (except for living in luxury, having personal trainers who can magically make them thin, and being trailed by a nanny and their six-plus kids), shows how they always seem to look fashionable while carrying any size bag.  By doing so, it gives non-celeb women a look that they might want to try (instead of buying the real thing, go for knockoffs – nobody will notice).  I’ve seen many bags that are organized, but I’ve seen a lot that are messy (such as the Today Show’s fourth hour co-host Hoda Kotb’s wallet, just imagine her purse).

For the past few months, I’ve carried a small bag that holds only the essentials: keys, iPhone and lip-gloss.  Unfortunately, my favorite wallet is too big to fit, so I bought a silver case like thisIt has made it so much easier because I can go anywhere and don’t have to wonder if everything will fit in my small bag. I highly recommend getting one.  While smaller purses are nice on the go, I prefer them to be oversized, but this creates a problem for my pack-rat tendencies.  I’m sure that if I look through my bags right now, I’ll find a receipt from last year at the very bottom!

What’s in your bag?

Isabella Louise Anderson is a member of the RWA, and she is the owner of the website Chick Lit Goddess. She resides in Dallas, Texas, where she’s a housewife and mother to 12-year-old cat, Thorndike. A regular contributor at Good Humor Girl, you can read all Isabella's articles and learn more about Isabella.

July New Releases

July 3rd

As the executive culinary assistant to celebrity Chicago chef Patrick Conlon, Alana Ostermann works behind the scenes—and that’s just the way she likes it. But with developing recipes for Patrick’s cookbooks, training his sous chefs, picking out the perfect birthday gifts for his ex-mother-in-law, and dealing with the fallout from his romantic escapades, she barely has a personal life, much less time to spend with her combo platter of a mutt, Dumpling. Then a fluke online connection brings her RJ, a transplant from Tennessee, who adds some Southern spice to her life. Suddenly Alana’s priorities shift, and Patrick—and Dumpling—find themselves facing a rival for her time and affection. With RJ in the mix, and some serious decisions to make about her personal and professional future, Alana must discover the perfect balance of work and play, money and meaning, to bring it all to the table—one delicious dish at a time…

An Upper West Side naïf, Beatrice Bernstein, gets swept up in the seemingly magical life of socialite Veruca Pfeffernoose, while ghost writing her blog. Veruca’s glitteringly opulent world soon seduces Beatrice away from her own insular, arty family with a promise of fancy parties, travel outside Manhattan (for once) and one desperately cute guy. But when her new glitzy lifestyle starts to take on dark undertones, Beatrice has to decide who she is—once and for all. With her own magical touch, Zelevansky deftly explores the world of rarified Manhattan in this sparkling modern fairy tale of first love, finding one’s voice and growing up. 


Actors aren’t the only ones trying to make it in Hollywood... At twenty-three, Ruth Saunders left her childhood home in Massachusetts and headed west with her seventy-year-old grandma in tow, hoping to make it as a screenwriter. Six years later, she hits the jackpot when she gets The Call: the sitcom she wrote, The Next Best Thing, has gotten the green light, and Ruthie’s going to be the showrunner. But her dreams of Hollywood happiness are threatened by demanding actors, number-crunching executives, an unrequited crush on her boss, and her grandmother’s impending nuptials. Set against the fascinating backdrop of Los Angeles show business culture, with an insider’s ear for writer’s room showdowns and an eye for bad backstage behavior and set politics, Jennifer Weiner’s new novel is a rollicking ride on the Hollywood roller coaster, a heartfelt story about what it’s like for a young woman to love, and lose, in the land where dreams come true.

Having a baby is... complicated. Dimple knows. She's a successful actress who is turning forty—though her agent and her resume insist she's only thirty-six—and she figures it's now or never. Certainly it's not a good time for an intriguing director to show up at her door with a great script. Eva, fabulous agent to the stars, doesn't want kids—and never wanted kids. Why is her decision so damned hard for everyone else to accept? When Maryn was undergoing treatment for cancer, she and her husband both agreed to have embryos frozen. But that was way before their divorce and her remission—and now she's single and childless, and caught in the middle of a controversy she never saw coming. The traditional and nontraditional couples desperate for a baby... the adoptive parents... the single mom... the two who want nothing to do with parenthood... This is a thoroughly modern story of the pursuit of family in all its forms—and of five very different ways of getting there.  

You Take It from Here by Pamela Ribon 
Just because you’d give your best friend everything doesn’t mean she has to take it. On the heels of a divorce, all Danielle Meyers wants is her annual vacation with sassy, life-long best friend, Smidge—complete with umbrella cocktails by an infinity pool—but instead she’s hit with the curveball of a lifetime. Smidge takes Danielle to the middle of nowhere to reveal a diagnosis of terminal cancer, followed by an unusual request: "After I’m gone, I want you to finish the job. Marry my husband. Raise my daughter. I’m gonna teach you to how to be Smidge 2.0." As Danielle wrestles with this major life decision, she finds herself torn between being true to her best friend’s wishes and being honest with herself. Parenting issues aside, Smidge’s small-town Louisiana world is exactly the one Danielle made sure to escape. Danielle isn’t one for playing the social butterfly, or being the center of attention. And when your best friend tries to set you up on a date night with her husband, it might be time to become the bossy one for a change. How much should we sacrifice for the ones we love the most?

July 10th 

Summer break... and the livin' ain't easy! Just because the students at New York College have flown the coop doesn't mean assistant residence hall director Heather Wells can relax. Fischer Hall is busier than ever, filled with squealing thirteen and fourteen-year-old girls attending the first ever Tania Trace Teen Rock Camp, hosted by pop sensation Tania Trace herself—who just happens to be newly married to Heather's ex-boyfriend, heartthrob Jordan Cartwright. But the real headache begins when the producer of a reality TV show starring Tania winds up dead... and it's clear that the star was the intended victim. Grant Cartwright, head of Cartwright Records, wants to keep his daughter-in-law (and his highest-earning performer) alive. So he hires his oldest son, black sheep of the family and private investigator Cooper Cartwright—who just happens to be Heather's new fiancé. Heather should leave the detecting to Cooper. But with a dorm full of hysterical mini-divas-in-training, she can't help but get involved. And after Tania shares a really shocking secret with her, this reality suddenly becomes more dangerously real than anyone ever anticipated.

L.A. is no place for widows. This is what forty-four-year-old Hannah Bernal quickly discovers after the tragic death of her handsome and loving husband, John. Misery and red-rimmed eyes are little tolerated in the land of the beautiful. But life stumbles on: Hannah’s sweet three-year-old daughter, Ellie, needs to be dropped off at her overpriced preschool, while Hannah herself must get back to work in order to pay the bills on “Casa Sugar,” the charming Spanish-styled bungalow they call home. Fortunately, Hannah has her “Grief Team” for emotional support: earth mother and fanatical animal lover Chloe, who finds a potential blog post in every moment; aspiring actress Aimee, who has her cosmetic surgeon on speed dial; and Jay, Hannah’s TV producing partner, who has a penchant for Mr. Wrong. But after a series of mishaps and bizarre occurrences, one of which finds Hannah in a posh Santa Monica jail cell, her friends start to fear for her sanity. To make matters worse, John left their financial affairs in a disastrous state. And when Hannah is dramatically fired from her latest producing gig, she finds herself in danger of losing her house, her daughter, and her mind. One night, standing in her backyard under a majestic avocado tree, in the throes of grief, Hannah breaks down and asks, “Why?” The answer that comes back—Why not?—begins an astounding journey of discovery and transformation that leads Hannah to her own truly extraordinary life after death.

July 17th

Think you want to be the perfect mom? Think again… Kate Alger has finally found the cure for her post-partum depression.  After years of suffering, all it takes to bring this mommy back to life is a few gruesome homicides!  When someone starts offing the alpha-moms from Kate’s daughter’s preschool, Kate—who worked as an Assistant District Attorney before she had Molly—realizes it’s time to get out of bed, dust off the skills and find out who is killing all the mommies she loves to hate. Perfect Is Overrated is a romp through the life of one very needy mom, her cockeyed family, gorgeous ex-husband, and the entire insane, entitled, over-dressed, over-zealous, eternally jealous parent body at The Hawthorne Preschool.

When in Doubt, Add Butter by Beth Harbison
As far as Gemma is concerned, her days of dating are over. In fact, it’s her job to cater other peoples’ dates, and that’s just fine by her. At thirty-seven, she has her own business, working as a private chef, and her life feels full and secure. She’s got six steady clients that keep her hands full. There’s Lex, the fussy but fabulous department store owner who loves Oysters Rockefeller and 1950s comfort food; Willa, who needs to lose weight under doctor’s orders but still believes butter makes everything better; a colorful family who may or may not be part of the Russian mob; an überwealthy Georgetown family; the picture-perfect Van Houghtens, whose matriarch is “allergic to everything”; and finally, a man she calls “Mr. Tuesday,” whom she has never met but who she is strangely drawn to. For Gemma, cooking is predictable. Recipes are certain. Use good ingredients, follow the directions, and you are assured success. Life, on the other hand, is full of variables. So when Gemma’s takes an unexpected turn on a road she always thought was straight and narrow, she must face her past and move on in ways she never would have imagined. Because sometimes in life, all you need is a little hope, a lot of courage, and---oh yes---butter.

July 24th

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin
Marian Caldwell is a thirty-six year old television producer, living her dream in New York City. With a fulfilling career and satisfying relationship, she has convinced everyone, including herself, that her life is just as she wants it to be. But one night, Marian answers a knock on the door... only to find Kirby Rose, an eighteen-year-old girl with a key to a past that Marian thought she had sealed off forever. From the moment Kirby appears on her doorstep, Marian’s perfectly constructed world—and her very identity—will be shaken to its core, resurrecting ghosts and memories of a passionate young love affair that threaten everything that has come to define her. For the precocious and determined Kirby, the encounter will spur a process of discovery that ushers her across the threshold of adulthood, forcing her to re-evaluate her family and future in a wise and bittersweet light. As the two women embark on a journey to find the one thing missing in their lives, each will come to recognize that where we belong is often where we least expect to find ourselves—a place that we may have willed ourselves to forget, but that the heart remembers forever.
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